Part 9: The Weather

Subscribe in a reader

or Right click to download the audio file

I was born in England. Not exactly forged in snow (as I was born in July) but I had a strong self-belief of being able to withstand the cold.
I was wrong.
In my heart's core I'm a southern boy. Give me an African coast. Give me Florida heat.
Moscow has the extremes; albeit a short summer, it's worth seeing. And experiencing. There are some awesome little fake beaches about Moscow with pools and loungers. There's even the tropical bar setting to drink beer and pass out in the sun.
Not many people know this, but Russia fires chemicals into the air on special days to ensure it doesn't rain (can you say damage to the environment?). The chemicals would go great hand in hand with car methane emissions.
The heat is so much that the roads must be sprayed with water so the tar doesn't melt.
The two weeks of autumn can be some of the most beautiful settings in Russia. Orange, purple and red leaves as though a painting has jumped out of the canvas. The only complaint is the cotton trees; the balls of fluff nearly choking you to death down every second street corner. Apparently Stalin had something to do with this.
Spring is a torrent of rain rivaling that of what I've witnessed in Africa and Florida. Thunderstorms that make you drenched in seconds. Lightning that makes you paranoid enough to switch off all your electronics.
The winter on the other hand...

Prepare for 6 months of isolation.
I have a running gag with friends involving the Game of Thrones quote "winter is coming." Rumours are that this is what vodka was invented for. Moscow's drop (or should I say "plunge") in temperature is so sudden that it causes severe headaches. True story. My wife and I woke up one night almost screaming from the pain as the pressure squashed our brains.
Living all over the world I've experienced a lot of weather, but nothing like this. The weather is so bad it gives you a headache? Come on! Really? Prepare for your lungs and face to ache in the cold, but when it's over you'll say "that wasn't so bad."

Check out my books here: www.jamesbrough.com